Sunday, January 27, 2013

Stop The Star Wars Confusion

I finally have a serious and meaningful topic to write about today: STAR WARS. I've been having an ongoing argument with my kids recently whenever they talk about the Star Wars movies. It drives me crazy when they refer to a movie as "episode 1-6". I understand that the original Star Wars movie that came out in 1977 was not the beginning of the story and that 3 prequels came out later, but can we please just refer to these movies by the title they were known by when they came out?

Star Wars: A New Hope-1977- Technically Episode 4 but don't call it that.
The Empire Strikes Back-1980-Episode 5
The Return of the Jedi- 1983- Episode 6
The Phantom Menace-1999- Episode 1
Attack of the Clones- 2002- Episode 2
Revenge of the Sith- 2005- Episode 3

Nothing good happens when people refer to them by the episode number and it only creates confusion. I'll bet the people who do this also number their jokes for greater efficiency. Do those same people also refer to the recent Hobbit movie as episode 1?

I know it doesn't help my cause when the movie producers list the episode number on the movie poster, but what do they know? We all understand that the order in which the movies were released doesn't coincide with the plot, but that should not be a problem. Could we all just refer to these movies by their actual titles listed in bold above and stop all the episode talk? I guarantee the world will be a better place if we do.

That being said, I can't wait for episode 7 to come out in the future.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Distracting Onlookers

Last week I went to the dentist and was lucky to come home with no cavities despite some very lazy brushing and flossing habits. I promise to do better in the future, but that's not why I'm writing this post. While I was in the dentist's waiting room, the TV was tuned to The Today Show. I was casually viewing it when I realized that they still film the show with a bunch of idiotic attention seekers in the backgound in front of a live audience. I also realized how horrible morning television is.

I don't know why it upset me so much but I can not stand it when I see a show and they allow people to be in the background waving and pointing. I can understand a live news report for a breaking story outside with bystanders gawking at the camera and walking by, but if you are going to broadcast a live TV show every day for years, why would you film it in front of glass windows on a busy street in New York?

A rare moment without the window gawkers.

As I sat watching this show, they talked about style, recipes, home care, entertainment, and other topics and I became infuriated as I saw the same thing happen over and over at regular intervals. Adults walking by would do a double take when they noticed the cameras. Then they'd stop and wave and jump up and down and act like a 3 year old to get attention in the background of the show. What the heck?

There is a local news channel that does the same thing and I refuse to watch their broadcasts because of it. I guess I am not as mad about the dumb attention seekers as I am at the producers of the show who not only do nothing about it but actually encourage this distracting behavior.

It's one thing if you want to take a break from the studio and mingle with the crowds outside during parts of the program, but to have distracting people in the background throughout the entire program just kills the professionalism of the show. I understand they have celebrities and musical artists in the show that people may want to see, but what kind of people stand in big crowds holding signs hoping to be caught on camera with Al Roker? Get a life people!

I'm not trying to pick on The Today Show. There are also many other programs that utilize this distracting presentation style. Apparently the producers of the show believe they have a formula that works, but I won't be sold on it until I see the President address the nation with a bunch of people walking by in the background.

I was surprised at how easily this whole thing set me off. I'm usually a laid back and patient guy, but when it comes to watching a program and seeing distracting idiots jump around in the background I have a short fuse. I felt more like I was at a photobomb convention that I was watching TV. How much did this whole experience bug me? I actually found it to be a relief when I was finally able to go back and have the dental assistant scrape my teeth and gums with a sharp instrument.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

My Embarrassing Confessions

I thought I would try to spice up Chaka's World from it's current stagnant state by confessing some embarrassing personal things about myself. I figure I might as well start some juicy gossip about myself now so if I ever run for president and someone else digs up dirt on me, it will steal their thunder. I am willing to put myself in a vulnerable position in front of millions hundreds of potential readers if it will rejuvenate my blog. Here are five confessions.

Just last week I realized that jello shots contain alcohol. When I had seen movies or heard references to jello shots at parties, I just assumed those people partying were just big jello enthusiasts like myself and Bill Cosby. I guess I am just naive, but I still think slurping up just plain jello cubes at a party sounds fun.

I can't drive a stick shift. This has always haunted me. I drove one for about 10 minutes nearly 30 years ago during drivers ed, but have not practiced since then. I'm pretty sure if you ever have an emergency and ask me to drive you to the hospital in your manual transmission car, the clutch would be destroyed by the time we got there. I know some car and driver enthusiasts prefer a manual transmission, but they also probably wear special gloves to enhance their driving experience. Why make it more complicated than it needs to be?

I was having my oil changed last week and the mechanic asked me if I was excited for the Super Bowl. I said yes and then the he asked me who I was rooting for. I froze when I realized I could not even name one team in the playoffs. It's not that I don't like football, I just have not followed it one bit this year. I was going to fake a seizure to get out of the awkward situation, but then abruptly changed the subject and said something about how I can't wait for all of the super bowl food and he agreed with me. I've never had or been to a Super Bowl party in my life and am secretly jealous of those of you who do.

I lied to the Red Cross when they called me to donate blood last night. I told them I hadn't been feeling well. I didn't tell them it was due to a dislocated finger as opposed to being sick. I donated a couple months ago so I didn't feel too bad for putting them off. I guess when I get craving  famous Amos cookies and apple juice I will schedule a new appointment.

This exact thing really did happen to me this week.
Also for one final embarrassing update, I think I like Pinterest more than any other social media site. I made fun of it forever for being such a chick thing, but I really like all the pictures and it doesn't require much reading. If you ask me, that sounds more like a dumb guy thing.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Since I have been on a blogging sabbatical for months now, I thought I would at least share something that made me laugh recently. I saw this yesterday and thought it was pretty funny. 

Cap'n Crunch cereal may be responsible for creating fleshy stalactites that hang down from the roof of your mouth, but Otter Pop wrappers are even more dangerous since they  slice the sides of your mouth when you eat them. I thought I'd give an explanation for any of you who have not eaten one of these frozen treats lately.